You’re never alone

Shin­ing a light on September’s Nation­al Sui­cide Pre­ven­tion and Aware­ness Month

By Porter W. Gable

Long­time York Coun­ty res­i­dent, Ches­lie Kryst, made our area famous after win­ning Miss USA in 2019 and becom­ing an Emmy-nom­i­nat­ed cor­re­spon­dent for the enter­tain­ment news show Extra.

To onlook­ers, Kryst appeared to have it all—team cap­tain for Fort Mill High School track and cheer­lead­ing, aca­d­e­m­ic schol­ar, Uni­ver­si­ty of South Car­oli­na Hon­ors Col­lege grad­u­ate and col­le­giate track star and the only stu­dent in her class to simul­ta­ne­ous­ly earn a Juris Doc­tor and Mas­ter of Busi­ness Admin­is­tra­tion at Wake For­est Uni­ver­si­ty. Fol­low­ing grad­u­a­tion, she became a civ­il lit­i­ga­tion attor­ney, licensed to prac­tice law in both North and South Car­oli­na.

For every­one who knew her, Kryst was the light in the room. But few knew about her years of silent­ly bat­tling men­tal ill­ness. In 2022, Kryst died by sui­cide.

After her death, Kryst’s moth­er, April Simp­kins, com­plet­ed her daughter’s mem­oir, By the Time You Read This, about her daughter’s strug­gle between her many accom­plish­ments and the real­i­ty of how she saw her­self. Simp­kins, who has lived in York Coun­ty with her hus­band, David, for more than 20 years, has worked close­ly with York Elec­tric Cooperative’s lead­er­ship for sev­er­al years and cur­rent­ly serves as the chair­woman for the York Coun­ty Region­al Cham­ber. She is an ambas­sador for the Nation­al Alliance on Men­tal Ill­ness (NAMI), the nation’s largest grass­roots men­tal health orga­ni­za­tion ded­i­cat­ed to build­ing bet­ter lives for the mil­lions of Amer­i­cans affect­ed by men­tal ill­ness, and a board mem­ber for NAMI Pied­mont Tri-Coun­ty.

Her book pro­vides a glimpse at Kryst’s beau­ti­ful life cou­pled with her hid­den men­tal ill­ness and cel­e­brates her brav­ery to fight her dis­ease for as long as she did. Her family’s sto­ry illus­trates the need for advo­ca­cy, edu­ca­tion and nor­mal­cy sur­round­ing men­tal well­ness. We can’t assume that the most out­ward­ly con­fi­dent peo­ple don’t strug­gle with their men­tal health. Suc­cess, mon­ey, fame—looking like you have it together—doesn’t mean you do.

“What Ches­lie expe­ri­enced isn’t uncom­mon,” says Simp­kins. Peo­ple are expect­ed to per­form at a con­sis­tent lev­el of men­tal tough­ness. But when and how do we unpack the prover­bial box­es of stress, anx­i­ety, pain or neg­a­tive thoughts we inevitably have in our day-to-day lives? Many times, we put on a brave face and live in the moment to main­tain our pow­er, strength and per­sona for oth­ers by box­ing up our feel­ings and stor­ing them to deal with anoth­er time. Simp­kins dis­cuss­es the impor­tance of “find­ing a safe space to unpack your box­es.”

“Ches­lie was a per­son just like every­one else,” says Simp­kins, who has earned a Men­tal Health First Aid Cer­ti­fi­ca­tion and is also trained in Emo­tion­al CPR. “Although she was a celebri­ty, her feel­ings and bat­tle with men­tal ill­ness were real. I want every­one to know there is hope, there is help and you’re nev­er alone.”

For Simp­kins, los­ing a child—and the par­a­lyz­ing grief she describes—is some­thing par­ents share as their great­est fear. Loss, no mat­ter what kind, requires those griev­ing to learn a new nor­mal, liv­ing with­out a key part of their lives. Simp­kins shares the raw­ness of her per­son­al expe­ri­ence after Kryst’s death with the goal of nor­mal­iz­ing the dis­cus­sion of feel­ing men­tal­ly unwell.

She uses the exam­ple of how peo­ple will open­ly dis­cuss their back pain but will typ­i­cal­ly hide how they are feel­ing men­tal­ly. Her trans­paren­cy about her grief jour­ney is inten­tion­al. She hopes her open­ness empow­ers peo­ple to speak up about their own men­tal health strug­gles. But for peo­ple to do so, Simp­kins stress­es the need for trust and safe spaces, some­thing her fam­i­ly did not expe­ri­ence from oth­ers in the after­math of her daughter’s sui­cide.

Simp­kins, who has addressed audi­ences inter­na­tion­al­ly on the top­ics of lead­er­ship, cul­ture, DEI and men­tal health in the work­place, also high­lights the impor­tance of men­tal well­ness in her pro­fes­sion­al life. She is a cham­pi­on for those in need through her non­prof­it work.

“Sta­tis­ti­cal­ly, more than 80% of employ­ees want an employ­er who pri­or­i­tizes their men­tal health,” she says. “In order to break the stig­ma, we have to be will­ing to talk about it.” Through advo­ca­cy and edu­ca­tion, Simp­kins pri­or­i­tizes chang­ing the nar­ra­tive about men­tal ill­ness. She stress­es the dis­tinc­tion between men­tal health and men­tal ill­ness.

Simp­kins sug­gests learn­ing to be accept­ing and how to meet peo­ple where they are in their men­tal health jour­ney by cre­at­ing a judge­ment-free, safe space for peo­ple to express how they feel. For those strug­gling with men­tal ill­ness, Simp­kins implores them to keep seek­ing a cir­cle of sup­port.

“The peo­ple with­in your sup­port cir­cle aren’t nec­es­sar­i­ly who you would think and aren’t always your fam­i­ly, but they become fam­i­ly,” she shares.

Men­tal ill­ness doesn’t always appear bold­ly like many oth­er dis­eases. It is our job to “check on our strong friends, our smart friends, our cool friends, our col­leagues and our fam­i­ly” as Nation­al Alliance on Men­tal Ill­ness (NAMI) CEO Daniel H. Gilli­son, Jr. writes in the after­word of the book.

If you are strug­gling, take the first step to well­ness and con­tact your local NAMI chap­ter or call the 988 Sui­cide and Cri­sis Life­line. NAMI is an alliance of more than 600 local affil­i­ates and 49 state orga­ni­za­tions that works in local com­mu­ni­ties to raise aware­ness and pro­vide sup­port and edu­ca­tion that was not pre­vi­ous­ly avail­able to those in need. Learn more at nami.org.

The 988 Sui­cide and Cri­sis Life­line pro­vides 24/7, free and con­fi­den­tial sup­port for peo­ple in dis­tress and pre­ven­tion and cri­sis resources for peo­ple and their loved ones. If you are in need or are help­ing some­one in need, call 988 for sup­port.