Shining a light on September’s National Suicide Prevention and Awareness Month
By Porter W. Gable
Longtime York County resident, Cheslie Kryst, made our area famous after winning Miss USA in 2019 and becoming an Emmy-nominated correspondent for the entertainment news show Extra.
To onlookers, Kryst appeared to have it all—team captain for Fort Mill High School track and cheerleading, academic scholar, University of South Carolina Honors College graduate and collegiate track star and the only student in her class to simultaneously earn a Juris Doctor and Master of Business Administration at Wake Forest University. Following graduation, she became a civil litigation attorney, licensed to practice law in both North and South Carolina.
For everyone who knew her, Kryst was the light in the room. But few knew about her years of silently battling mental illness. In 2022, Kryst died by suicide.
After her death, Kryst’s mother, April Simpkins, completed her daughter’s memoir, By the Time You Read This, about her daughter’s struggle between her many accomplishments and the reality of how she saw herself. Simpkins, who has lived in York County with her husband, David, for more than 20 years, has worked closely with York Electric Cooperative’s leadership for several years and currently serves as the chairwoman for the York County Regional Chamber. She is an ambassador for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness, and a board member for NAMI Piedmont Tri-County.
Her book provides a glimpse at Kryst’s beautiful life coupled with her hidden mental illness and celebrates her bravery to fight her disease for as long as she did. Her family’s story illustrates the need for advocacy, education and normalcy surrounding mental wellness. We can’t assume that the most outwardly confident people don’t struggle with their mental health. Success, money, fame—looking like you have it together—doesn’t mean you do.
“What Cheslie experienced isn’t uncommon,” says Simpkins. People are expected to perform at a consistent level of mental toughness. But when and how do we unpack the proverbial boxes of stress, anxiety, pain or negative thoughts we inevitably have in our day-to-day lives? Many times, we put on a brave face and live in the moment to maintain our power, strength and persona for others by boxing up our feelings and storing them to deal with another time. Simpkins discusses the importance of “finding a safe space to unpack your boxes.”
“Cheslie was a person just like everyone else,” says Simpkins, who has earned a Mental Health First Aid Certification and is also trained in Emotional CPR. “Although she was a celebrity, her feelings and battle with mental illness were real. I want everyone to know there is hope, there is help and you’re never alone.”
For Simpkins, losing a child—and the paralyzing grief she describes—is something parents share as their greatest fear. Loss, no matter what kind, requires those grieving to learn a new normal, living without a key part of their lives. Simpkins shares the rawness of her personal experience after Kryst’s death with the goal of normalizing the discussion of feeling mentally unwell.
She uses the example of how people will openly discuss their back pain but will typically hide how they are feeling mentally. Her transparency about her grief journey is intentional. She hopes her openness empowers people to speak up about their own mental health struggles. But for people to do so, Simpkins stresses the need for trust and safe spaces, something her family did not experience from others in the aftermath of her daughter’s suicide.
Simpkins, who has addressed audiences internationally on the topics of leadership, culture, DEI and mental health in the workplace, also highlights the importance of mental wellness in her professional life. She is a champion for those in need through her nonprofit work.
“Statistically, more than 80% of employees want an employer who prioritizes their mental health,” she says. “In order to break the stigma, we have to be willing to talk about it.” Through advocacy and education, Simpkins prioritizes changing the narrative about mental illness. She stresses the distinction between mental health and mental illness.
Simpkins suggests learning to be accepting and how to meet people where they are in their mental health journey by creating a judgement-free, safe space for people to express how they feel. For those struggling with mental illness, Simpkins implores them to keep seeking a circle of support.
“The people within your support circle aren’t necessarily who you would think and aren’t always your family, but they become family,” she shares.
Mental illness doesn’t always appear boldly like many other diseases. It is our job to “check on our strong friends, our smart friends, our cool friends, our colleagues and our family” as National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) CEO Daniel H. Gillison, Jr. writes in the afterword of the book.
If you are struggling, take the first step to wellness and contact your local NAMI chapter or call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. NAMI is an alliance of more than 600 local affiliates and 49 state organizations that works in local communities to raise awareness and provide support and education that was not previously available to those in need. Learn more at nami.org.
The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress and prevention and crisis resources for people and their loved ones. If you are in need or are helping someone in need, call 988 for support.